Personal Legend

“[We] never realized that people are capable, at any time in their lives, of doing what they dream of.”-Paulo Coehlo, The Alchemist

The familiar feeling of guilt rushed in his heart after being awaken from a lustful dream. In this dream he saw himself enjoying what seemed to be a shameful act of perversion. Dreams, they say, can fly away the minute you wake up. But this one has stayed in his heart, for he was bothered by the sadness it has brought in him. Others say that sometimes dreams are the reflection of one’s true self. The hidden desires and suppressed emotions that only by dreaming can be unlocked. Thus it showed what he really was-sinful.

Time runs like a marathon and as it runs it changes things. His body was not that huge, when he was a boy. Now that he is a grown man, it is not only his body that has changed. Dreams too have changed. From a flashback of scenes from a whole day of playing with his friends; now that he has become a man, it was these lustful dreams that hunted his soul.

Unable to sleep, he decided to take a walk alone and see where his feet will take him. He followed the flickering lights of the light posts along the road side wall of Intramuros (built by Spaniards and the oldest district in the heart of Manila). There he found himself alone in front of his school. He looked for people that might pass by as he willingly embraced the silence. The light was enough to comfort his soul. He felt safe and confident that he can pray aloud. He enjoys speaking to his God like the way he speaks with people. Not a murmur but with a clear voice. He admits to himself that he cannot control his mind to wander when he is praying silently. And so he started conversing with God. Feeling much better looking at the moon-lit sky where clouds are moving with the cold wind.

Freeing himself of the guilt was his main concern so he begun to ask for forgiveness for the recurrent nightmares that he had had. As he moved back and forth, where the road is tinged by yellow rays of light, he begun to feel relieved and unburdened. “This is a good feeling” he mused to himself, and decided to continue. He talked with his God about his sadness, his joys and sorrows of the old days and what has become of him. Suddenly he noticed his school fence as he kept his pace. It triggered his mind to remind him of the bad memories of his past. They had rushed in his mind like a mighty river. He felt drowned by the thoughts and heartaches he felt all at once. Again his spirit was broken. He bitterly wept to his God and said aloud “I am stubborn and for that I have spent 7 years of my life here without accomplishing anything!” His deep agony encouraged him more, “I know it is not what I can do now that is important, but what You can do through me!” Tears were running down his face as he uttered these words. Alas, he felt somehow tired after reminiscing his past failures in life.

As he walked back to his place ready to lay down and rest, two rugged little boys blocked his path. He remembered them as beggars who he treats for food from time to time; when he has money to spare and sometimes when he feels like to, either moved by compassion or perhaps social responsibility.

He remembered that he has no money in his pocket and completely sure within himself of what these beggars will ask him for-food. In the back of his mind he knew it will be troublesome to go back just to get some money in order to feed them. He was half ready to change his direction when the two boys had caught with him.

Sounded worried and in pain, one of the boys said “Kuya dalhin mo naman ako sa hospital” as he stretched his arm for him to see. There he saw a bloody wound that has swelled up and resembled a huge lump. There was a course of blade that was evidently ran along it. “I was trying to cut myself with a knife to get the piece of stick that was left inside, but the enormous pain wont let me do so,” the boy said. The man was momentarily shocked and repeated in his mind the horror he has just heard; that this little child was trying to cut himself with a blade which was probably deformed and rusted.

His heart was melted. He was halfheartedly ready to evade them thinking they will ask for food. That he, who was fed by God so faithfully, was ready to deny these two boys a decent meal. He was reminded of his prayer. How he had asked God to use him for His purpose. That he would be taken away from his usual defeated life and be changed to a man who can bring a change in this world. Silently he rued the moment he became selfish.

As fast as he asked for forgiveness a new Spirit enveloped him. Reassuring that he is within the Hand that guides his life and the same Hand that guides the rest of history. He was doing the will of God. That it was not an accident that he was awake during that time of the night and that these two boys were looking for someone to aid them. That he can do everything through God who strengthens him.

“Maktub” meaning It is Written.

He asked for his friend named Hezy to accompany him and bring the two boys to the nearest Hospital after being rejected by a Private hospital within the walled district. They went to a public one and asked a surgeon if she can do something with it. “We need to perform an operation” she replied with a tiresome look in her eyes. “Do what you must” he said. “But is the boy prepared for any possible pain?” she added.

He looked at the boy and asked what the surgeon wanted to know. “I cut my arm did I not?” the boy replied trying to muster a vague smile. The operation proceeded as planned and was a success.

After some inquiries by the doctor, they learned how the two little boys and him met and how the child was wounded in the first place. “I was stabbed by my younger brother out of rage against me” he said with a sadness in his face. “Cheer up I am gonna talk to your younger brother but you need to ask for an apology since your the one who is older.” he immediately said. The boy smiled and nodded cheerfully.

The surgeon name was Dr. Resurrecion, she was amazed by the kindness that the two graced upon the little boys. The news spread fast since the room was pact with so many people. By understanding the common language of the soul, not with words, but with great humility he knew that the people were liberated from the negativity and evil of this world even for that given time. With that little act of random kindness, everyone felt believing again in the goodness of people. A new Spirit of dedication was revitalized in the souls of the physicians, they can smile now even with the continues flow of people in need of aid. All things are one.

The man who was bothered by his lustful dreams suddenly remembered that once he also dreamed of helping people who are unfortunate and robbed of so many good things in life. Realizing that though he believes that dream is a reflection of his hidden desires, it is also the language of God to tell him about his Personal Legend. He felt his heart was glad.

If you let that Hand guide you. God will extend your territory. You will live your dreams today and not tomorrow, one step at a time. If you can be trusted with little things God will entrust to you greater things in the future. The Dream lives on.